WLS hell

I have been catching up on "Shelly's" egg-face blog spot and the woman is such an inspiration , i have really got to kick my butt in gear . omg what is wrong with me i made it thru all the drama of my surgeries and I'm falling back into old evil habits ugh . i need some freak-in self control and something has to change or I'm gonna be back at square 1. ughhhhh hell is paved in a path of good intentions and I'm in wls hell right now .it feels like i obsess over food from the moment i get up till i go to bed , what Ive eaten , what I'm gonna eat ,guilt over what i justified to myself out of control portions ,have i stretched out my pouch did i ruin it.
ughhh its never ending and causing a lot of stress which again, leads to panic stress binge eating. ughhhhh

welcome to the world

well , i am a sort of reclusive person with bouts of adventurousness. i have had trouble with the world overwhelming me since i was a little girl. there are so many icky ,scary ,wonderful things out there and i am afraid I'm missing it all but God help me why cant i get involved more . I'm ranting to myself trying to have a freakin breakthrough and maybe discover some kind of solution i can live with. so I'm blogging in hopes of accomplishing this. here goes my journey .